I’m gonna tell you my silence story, more calm than a deep sea, hide buried under mother of earth, I even never tell this to all my ex-bf or my bf now, and it will be the most history hang in sky. I realize it trapped me in my stupid imagination, but is it wrong to love somebody even before meet him? Is it love or just a dream? And my stories flow like a wind blow with him, sorry Alvin but you have to know this chapter.Think it may dumb, but it is possible...and has been here in my life for 4 years, as a few we stated already, it's a bonding that happens without the interruption of sex to confuse among us. Real love comes from our creator of imagination anyway, so it's not so unrealistic I knew to imagine fall in love with someone I’ve never "met", after all, God's plan for us never fails, who are we to question? So in ending do I believe is it possible?
This is not tale story before bed neither fiction on imagination but here it came when I pick up my mind figure it out man from web, put some commitment together but we never meet each. I called him “my rock star” singer of local band in his state, fabulous at his area and completely straight by his story of “Ara” his girl. Life stuck in reverse, combat, and day just full of bright. Hearing his sexy voice when he told me he miss me flatted me to the special happiness, reading his dirt SMS which make me felt horny built my other sex satisfaction, seeing his picture create some space in my mind that I’ve being loved with someone so far away from my place, I feel free, I feel life and mind explain that I’m his only one if he can love some boy, after Ara his girl.
All wonderful...those things can make me feel good especially if he’s pleasant. I could tell him everything he wants to hear, but that does not mean I love him or he loves me, I don’t know, weird I knew. But having dream lover like him make me feel comfort, when I broke with my boys, its only him I can share, I can say I miss him and he always there when I need him to be. Than when I met someone else and try to forget him, here he comes again and remind me that he does exist, still in my life, ask my love and I love him too.
Experiencing love has to be a part of the equation. Like standing in the rain, climbing a mountain, eating raw oysters, etc. you have experiences to know if there’s something you want to be a part of his life. Like I wanna be part of his world, even we never meet. Eventhogh for me fall in love means I have to see him, feel and touch him personally. I want he let me be in his space and let him in mine...just to see how that feels. But with him? I don’t know, and don’t know how long it would be like this more, so tell me… is it wrong to love him before I meet him?
Ps. For MyRockStar, I knew I love you before I met you.. Wish we can meet someday and see how it’s going to be, our real love or just our history has to be closed.
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