In order to build a solid foundation in any relationship, whether
it’s a loving partnership (marriage), friendship or a relationship with a
sibling or child, you must learn to love unconditionally without limits
or judgment.
Loving someone unconditionally can be hard to do and goes against the
grain you were probably taught in today’s Western society. Society
tells you to get even or get revenge. However, to love unconditionally
requires forgiveness and letting go of the wrongs.
So How Do You Love Unconditionally?
What’s required to show someone unconditional love when you’re in a
relationship? Being there physically, emotionally, mentally and
spiritually, through thick and thin, no matter what may happen is
unconditional love.
Physically:
Being “there” for someone physically means just what the word implies.
You’re there for them in person, standing by their side, listening to
them, or talking with them so they’re not alone. This may be at three in
the afternoon, or three in the morning!
Emotionally:
When you’re with someone emotionally, you’re offering your support by
allowing them to honestly and openly express their feelings. Supporting
someone emotionally with unconditional love also means that you’re there
selflessly to help them work through their feelings. The goal is for
the person to rise above the negative emotions and turn them into
positive ones. You’re the shoulder to cry on!
Mentally:
Supporting a loved one mentally means that you help them think through
their actions, motives, and desires. You help them do this by finding
out what’s going on inside. To support someone mentally requires you to
help your loved one process their thoughts through to all possible
outcomes.
Spiritually:
Spiritually supporting a loved one means you pray for and with them and
help them grow in all aspects of their life – physically, emotionally,
mentally, and spiritually. Often spiritual support is given without a
person being aware of it, through prayer.
Unconditional love does not mean, however, giving into every whim or
desire. Often people confuse unconditional love with spoiling. Giving
into a person’s every want or desire when it isn’t appropriate can
actually harm their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well
being. For example, giving into a child’s demands for junk food may make
them happy today, but it isn’t a good source of nourishment in the long
run.
Letting Go
True love is shown when you try to help another become a better
person and unconditional love is shown when you still love them even if
they refuse to change.
Many times it’s necessary to “let go” of a loved one, while still
loving them unconditionally, because they refuse to take the necessary
steps to improve. An example of this would be an alcoholic or drug
addict. You still love the person, but when they refuse to work at
overcoming their addiction or don’t care about themselves or who they’re
hurting, you must let go. Sometimes this means, letting them spiral
down until they hit rock bottom. Often you get hurt in the process
because you love them and don’t want to see them go down this road, so
loving unconditionally also means that you’ll be there for them when
they’re ready to try again.
Love isn’t an emotion or feeling – it’s a choice. This is especially
true with unconditional love. In relationships, you show unconditional
love by overlooking petty mistakes and forgoing judgment and grudges.
Unconditional love requires self-sacrifice and forgiveness on your part
and it’s through unconditional love that those you care about will
change for the better.
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