KolonG how to find best friend and living as a gay man

living as a gay man and find some good friends is not hard, as we knew a gay is a girl's best friend, easy to get girls friends as long you always open up and be the one to share, girls love someone can hear them, to care, they will lost their afraid knowing you to be the best listener for her story. Not all men can understand and receive you as their gay friends, so keep carefully to open by asking their opinion about gay societies. but man also can be nice if they have friend who knowing girls much as you knew because you're gay...

WHAT A BEST FRIEND IS?

A Friend... is a tissue when you can't stop crying

A Friend... is a shoulder when you feel like dying

A Friend... always listens when you have something to say

A Friend... is a week when you need a day

A Friend... is a crutch when you have a broken heart

A Friend... is some glue when everything falls apart

A Friend... is a sun when the rain just won't stop

A Friend... is your'mom when you run into a cop

A Friend... is a phone call when you can't leave your home

A Friend... is a hand when you feel all alone

A Friend... is a wing if you want to fly

A Friend... understands without knowing why

A Friend... is an ear for a secret to tell
A Friend... is an aspirin when your head hurts likehell

A Friend... is a love that can never let go
A Friend... is you,and i wanted you to know!!

Arti sebuah sahabat..
Sahabat adalah hadiah dari Yang Di Atas buat kita. Seperti hadiah, ada yang bungkusnya bagus dan ada yang bungkusnya jelek. Yang bungkusnya bagus punya wajah rupawan, atau kepribadian yang menarik. Yang bungkusnya jelek punya wajah biasa saja, atau kepribadian yang biasa saja, atau malah menjengkelkan.
Seperti hadiah, ada yang isinya bagus dan ada yang isinya jelek. Yang isinya bagus punya jiwa yang begitu indah sehingga kita terpukau ketika berbagi rasa dengannya, ketika kita tahan menghabiskan waktu berjam-jam saling bercerita dan menghibur, menangis bersama, dan tertawa bersama. Kita mencintai dia dan dia mencintai kita. Sedang yang isinya buruk punya jiwa yang terluka. Begitu dalam luka-lukanya sehingga jiwanya tidak mampu lagi mencintai, karena ia tidak merasakan cinta dalam hidupnya. Sayangnya yang kita tangkap darinya sering kali justru sikap penolakan, dendam, kebencian, iri hati, kesombongan, amarah, dll. Kadang Kita tidak suka dengan jiwa-jiwa semacam ini dan mencoba menghindar dari mereka. Kita tahu bahwa itu semua BUKANlah karena semata-mata mereka pada dasarnya buruk, tetapi ketidakmampuan jiwanya memberikan cinta, karenanya justru ia membutuhkan cinta kita, membutuhkan simpati kita, kesabaran dan keberanian kita untuk mendengarkan luka-luka terdalam yang memasung jiwanya. Bagaimana bisa kita mengharapkan seseorang yang terluka lututnya berlari bersama kita? Bagaimana bisa kita mengajak seseorang yang takut air berenang bersama? Luka di lututnya dan ketakutan terhadap airlah yang mesti disembuhkan, bukan mencaci mereka karena mereka tidak mau berlari atau berenang bersama kita. Mereka tidak akan bilang bahwa "lutut" mereka luka atau mereka "takut air", mereka akan bilang bahwa mereka tidak suka berlari atau mereka akan bilang berenang itu membosankan, karena bagaimanapun mereka manusia yang punya harga diri dan membutuhkan pengakuan akan keberadaan dirinya.

Seorang sahabat sama seperti satu permata yg tak ternilai harganya. Seorang sahabat bisa membuat kita ceria, membuat kita terhibur. Mereka meminjamkan kupingnya kepada kita pada saat kita membutuhkannya. Seorang sahabat hadir pada saat kita sedang berduka, tidak dimengerti, merasa ditolak oleh lingkungan. Mereka bersedia membuka hati maupun perasaannya untuk berbagi suka dan duka dengan kita pada saat kita membutuhkan.

There's no wonderful present that you deserve to get in this entire world but "a best friend" and sometime you've already got even you never realize above..

-TRUE STORY, SLIMO-

KolonG living in a gay life, Are Gay People Normal?

Answer: Of course you are! Being gay does not define who you are or make you any less of a person. At times it is not easy being gay, especially around those that are not supportive. Nonetheless, try to surround yourself by people who do support you and your lifestyle. You will soon see that gay and bisexual men interact with each other and the world as any other person would.

How Do I Know If I'm Gay?

Answer: Unfortunately, there is no easy way to determine if you are gay. There are no scientific tests or sterotypes that determine your sexuality. You will find out through experience and feelings. Most define being gay as having a strong bond or sexual attraction to another man. Others define it as a lifestyle which includes behaviors and social interactions. You should ask yourself several questions about your sexuality and sexual preferences. Do you prefer sex with a man? Are you physically attracted to men? Do you feel an emotional bond with a man? Would you consider an intimate relationship with a man?
Am I the Only Person That Has Gay Feelings?

Answer: You're not alone! There are many gay and bisexual men who are in the process of coming out. The Internet is a great resource to find someone you can talk to or share experiences with. Search for chat rooms specific to coming out or post an ad looking for friends. You'll be amazed how many people are looking for someone to relate to just like you are. Also visit any web connected. You'll see that others may have had the same questions you have.

HOW TO BE A GOOD GAY?

Step 1 :
Know your rights in you city, state and country. You can't argue about rights you should have if you don't know which ones you have already.
Step 2 :
Know which political candidates support gays, and to what extent. Just because they're democrats doesn't mean they support gay marraige or gays in the military.
Step 3 :
Be clean and well dressed. This is more to the lesbians out there who think that because they are a lesbian they should wear men's clothes. Please stop.
Step 4 :
Don't be over the top all of the time. Gay men have a reputation for being crazy and loud even though most are not. Behave in public so you don't enforce this stereotype.
Step 5 :
Educate yourself. Most gay people I know are well mannered, well cultured, well spoken and well educated. These people give a good impression to the strait people in their lives who would otherwise only know stereotypes.

Step 6 : attitude in gay clubs or zone, don't make your self look cheap..

KolonG "bamBu Maniz"

mungkin ini suara hati, atau ungkapan untuk jiwa yang ingin tercari, kepada BuMa,,

Cerita-cerita tertutup kabut, pergulatan batin tak tuntas, keinginan-keinginan tak tertebus.
Laki-laki beristri dengan satu anak cantik terjebak biduk rumah tangga, anak muda usia 20-an menangis karena takut diketahui orangtua, pemuda ganteng pasang harga atas tubuhnya demi perut terganjal makanan, laki-laki mapan blingsatan setiap kali berhadapan dengan pertanyaan,”Kapan kawin?”, cowok bertubuh atletis bekerja keras mengolah tubuhnya di gym agar orang lain tak tahu kalau sesungguhnya dia gay.
Cerita-cerita itu menjadi daftar panjang tak berkesudahan, hadir terus-menerus bagai lingkaran tak terputus.

Hak atas tubuh, hak merasakan bahagia, dan hak menyampaikan pemikiran selalu terbentur tembok-tembok kenyataan. Kenyataan yang tak berpihak pada gay. Sekali lagi, persoalan tidak terletak pada gay, tapi pada ular-ular itu. Ular-ular itu butuh pencerahan agar tak seenaknya menunjuk sana-sini sok paling benar sendiri. Homophobia harus dihapuskan. Jangan pula menuntut gay untuk menghancurkan tembok-tembok kenyataan bila tak ada jaminan keamanan. Pemakluman iya, sebab media seperti ini setidaknya membuat gay sejenak bernafas lega.

Itu tamparan keras yang mengoyak harga diri gay dan melukai hak asasi manusia. Kebrutalan ular-ular melampaui batas yang diterima nalar. Betapa siksaan dipandang sebagai sesuatu yang layak diterima gay. Cih! Dan ular-ular itu dengan naïfnya terus mereproduksi alat-alat pembenar untuk mencederai nilai kemanusiaan.

aku ingin berdiri tidak sendiri di dunia itu, aku ingin seseorang menunjukkan bahwa yang mereka anggap salah kurasa benar karena dukungan dari seseorang, semoga hidup memiliki makna,,, semoga semua kisah dalam kitab alam sudah ku ungkap kepada hati mu yg teringini, beri senyum untuk huruf keindahan yg tercipta untukmu,,,

[SLiMO]

KolonG "letter from Darknblack"

Dear SLiMO,

I saw A lovely straight couple passing me by, and from them I see love, passion, commitment, sacrifice, understanding, companionship, responsibility, acceptance, children, family and future.
The guy is average looking, the girl is pretty, but I can see the world in them. do you thing they're happy?

A sweet gay couple passing me by, they both are gorgeous, but yet all I can see only love and lust, and fragile.
Why are we so shallow? Is it because the circumstance? Or it's our nature? We fuck like an animal, and we choose our mate like an animal do, by physical appearance.
For us, the first impression always come from physical appearance right? And when our physical attraction become love, can we deny that the basic of our attraction is physical? We may have the love, we may have the lust, we may have some degree of commitment, but where it leads to?
Straight relationship grows endlessly, and our gay relationship doesn't , thats our problem.
We date a guy, we fall in love with each other, we are in a relationship, then what? What's next? We just stuck in that, and wait until it ends? I'm tired, Slimo... need your hug ;(

- Dark n Black -

Dear Dark n Black,
What you see ia only what you can look, you never know what happen inside them right? or it may something among their heart.
Sometime A straight couple start from a date, that leads to relationship, and then they will plan to marriage, advancing to build a family, with children, share the responsibility, sacrifice their dream, accept the partner's flaw for the sake of the family they build, for the sake of the children they have, for the sake of the love they share. There is not much selfishness left in them.

We, gays, start from a date, that leads to relationship, but mostly the process end short here. May we take love too much for granted? There is nothing to lose when we have to start over again? Or may we are all too selfish?
Sumtime gay's commitment in relationship like "Hey, I promise you I won't fuck others and cheat on you." Is it because sex it too easy for us?
When we asked a straight couple what is commitment, they will answer that commitment is an effort you have to make, with all your strength, to make the relationship works, and thats include acceptance, understanding and sacrifice.
So, basically, gays' commitment is promise, while straights' commitment is effort. Now we can learn bit bout commitment hover there's no mistake between our commitment and them.

We Do realize that when people describe a family members, they will think of husband, wife and children? It's so natural for a husband to tell his wife "We are a family". But in our life It's like "I love you, but you will never be part of my family". But why you have to ask too much for this rule? so stop compair our life with them as long as there's love between you and your partner, it's the most important thing in any all way of relationship, gay or straight.

Coz compare to straights, our relationships are strong in love, lust, passion and companionship that is great for short term, but weak in commitment, sacrifice, understanding, responsibility and acceptance thats needed in long term relationship. But there's no something wrong for those, maybe that's the reality of our life and why we have to ask more, further you may marry your partner but why should you ask to his family declaration? becoz it will be one in million family could understand, maybe here we are called "gay".

My advice; "being gay loyal with one man is so much better than be a straight sex with every woman"

-SLiMO-

KolonG [Is That Bad Being A Single Gay?]

NO…, absolutely Not Bad, why? in world of PLU (people like us) most of 70% men wanna be single or pretend to, extremely they want have relations but with single status. Being single isn’t that bad, at least there no one can hurt you and you’ll know the meaning of friendship is.

Some pals of mine wrote me email bout why they have been single for along time, they said “am I not good enough? Am I not sexy? Am I too selfish, am I too selective? why people don’t like me?” no… never judge yourself like that. Sometime to be Single gay is so much fun when knowing how to be a happy, you may decide all aspect of your life with your own way, no arguing with some one about what food you want have for dinner, no one comment to your hairstyle, you probably spend money not too much, free to call your pals for hang out, travelling and meet lot new pal for your society, no one call you just to ask where you are, what you do, and you may do whatever you wanna do with no regret. So it is particularly moment in your life time to feel freedom, eventually you can share and give your love for everyone..
Feeling lonely is the most enemy of your single status, but never hesitates to call your close pal and pay them for dinner just to buy your time to talk, or spoil yourself at spa center or public swimming pool to taste the best orange juice in life. Many bright ideas how to kill your loneliness but the most, never thought that you’re a single, any how you’re not the only one single gay in this planet. Remember… being a single is not that bad hover being in relationship is also not that good.

Here some tips to erase your loneliness when it come figure you out that you’re single, and may it can help you to attract some guys jumping to your next love life ;
1. Update your style, single means anything just on your arms. so go to the mall or boutique just for trying some new mode and shirt to make over your look. When it comes really fit for your performance, just take it and be proud to show.
2. Mobile yourself, you never know there are many single men like you out of your society. Jump to visit your pals very often, spend your spare time through cafes or bars near by, attend in rock music concert, charge your rave party, or just see futsal game while you enjoying lots straight guys there.
3. Chatting, isn’t that bad even just for fun, we know a few good men there in channel but we never know may your prince of charming waiting you out there. keep on chat and browsing gay dating web or up dating your facebook daily.
4. Buy some t-shirt with word “I’m single” Play naughty way just to express yourself, being bitchy is not that bad sometime, Enjoy your weekend by shopping or just fooling around in some Club, you may do 5-S there (seat, see, sign, sex,….see you) hahahaha..

-superSLIMO-

KoloG "Jealousy"

Jealousy is not the same thing as Love, Sometimes you're jealous with your boyfriend because of lots thing, but people think by feeling jealous about someone, means that you loving him much, meanwhile over jealous can make him lost his mind and could do the bad thing for you. Jealousy is the fear and anger of losing love. Jealousy disappears when you are truly explain to him whatever tell the truth and tell what you want. having experience this recently, I felt jealous when I call him and he's in the middle of dinner with his close friend at restaurant near beach, or when he just busy with his study and built some intuations maybe him with other boy, but I cant blame him, or maybe it just my expression of loving him too much. here's some articles how to handle Jealousy ;)

Many people feel jealous from time to time. and it may happen to you too. Jealousy is easy to deal with, once you understand what it's teaching you. and the other is the way how to explain to him why he sould jealous if theres no big deal inside. Here are some pointers on working through your emotions and feelings of jealousy.

1.Understand the emotions. Jealousy is a combination of fear and anger: fear of losing something and anger that someone is "moving in on" something that you feel belongs only to you. so take the best way how to control your upset before you get the explanation.

2.Allow yourself to actually 'feel' emotions in a healthy way. When you start feeling jealous, ask yourself: Is it more fear-based or more anger-based? Recognize which part of your body is being affected. If you feel a dropping or clutching sensation in your stomach, it’s probably fear. If you feel a burning, tight sensation in your shoulders and jaw, then you’re likely feeling anger. You might also feel a combination of those sensations.

3.Communicate your feelings. Sharing your true feelings with him without blaming him, it can create a deep sense of connection between the two of you and open up a dialogue about the path of your relationship. Use "huney...want tell me sumthing?" "I" instead of "you." Instead of saying, "You shouldn't have done that," say, "I felt terrible when that happened."

4.Identify what your jealousy is teaching you. Jealousy can alert you to what you want and what is important to you. If you’re jealous to him talking bout he with another friend go out, think that ur personal relationships may be important to you that this case. If you’re jealous about money, you may have an underlying need for security or freedom. Ask yourself, "Why am I jealous over this? What is making me jealous? What am I trying to keep? Why do I feel threatened?" When you begin to understand what makes you jealous, you can begin to take positive steps to maintain those things, without the cloud of negative emotion that accompanies jealousy.

5.Change any false beliefs that might cause jealousy. There are often false beliefs that underlie jealousy and fuel emotion. If you examine the belief, you can often eliminate the jealousy.Choose to tell yourself a belief that is nurturing and supportive, and you’ll feel better. When you begin taking steps to creating a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, you will find the anger, the jealousy, and the fear will disappear.

6.Don't see things and make conclusion or listen to people who make you jealous, before you find out the fact and reality

7.If you cant handle it ask him whatever you wanna ask. make the good time to meet and asking anything with the politely and good way, do not show your jealousy just make him see you need his more attention, remember...bad speak just make him thought you dont trust him, so do it softly or do after you have a great sex with him. do not ask him in phone, meet directly

KolonG Your boy friend now is a diamond

A good friend just called me this morning, and for the umpteenth time he broke up within his BF again, he told me that he was really tired in the searching for the good heart.

I bit him share; In love we can indeed occur in a matter of seconds, lot of people out there are more than our spouses, but the wise man said we have to learn to say thanks for what we have been gotten, because humans will never feel satisfied and always compare with others. Grateful to your partner even though he was not too handsome as what you've dream of, though he's not too sexy like your boyfriend's pal, not too rich as your partner before, or not even as perfect as you'd expect, but make sure at least now he's just the only one who love you with sincere.

Never take someone else for granted, hold someone close to your heart now, cause you may wake up one day and realize That you've lost a diamond while you were the resource persons too busy collecting stones .. :)

SLIMO

KolonG "tired to love, am I wrong?"

Dear Slimo,

I could go through a bucket load of depression being with someone, question everything about the relationship and still be hard pushed to leave, and if I left chances are I would end up coming back anyway.
I'm wasting too much emotional energy on all of this past, am I wrong if I'm tired to love someone now?
[Fernando]

Dear Fernando,
It's not wrong if you have to take a pause to not love someone for a while, It happen to me this recently, I've had very good love but end up with mistreatment,
It's not worth being upset over the past, don't let the failed relationships ruin you. There is grieving time, of course, but after that point - how does it help you get to where you want to be in life to continually mull it over and try to figure out where it went wrong? The relationship has ended. You are better off not getting back with any of your ex, unless they have changed - if they haven't, the relationship would go the exact same way, eventually. I find it helpful to consider my emotions as logically as possible - how does this emotion help me? Does it put me on the path to where I want to be in life? Sometimes it's just impossible, but when you find yourself upset over something weeks and months later, it's easier.

Remember, I don't at all mean to sound disparaging on this, I get what you're saying entirely, and I feel like I can relate because it sounds like me when I was around your age. What happened with me, and what happened with most people I know, my advise; be stronger as a person, show to the world that you'll away look fine, and be potentially more desirable, if that's what you're going for.
Look ahead, not backward. You'll harden, you'll develop new "wants" and probably have a better perspective on how to achieve them, you'll be better for the experience even if the end result is not what's ideal for you at this very moment.

Best of luck, Fernando!! ;)

KolonG How to Be Strong After a Breakup

thanks for VC, Dusk And Sondra C for this advise, and here I wanna share their mind through my blog ;)

Dear Slimo,
When everything is wrong and you just want to cry all night, that's when you know you need to get over your ex. Everyone experiences heartbreaks, but being strong about it is another thing. Don't let your ex see you weak.

1. Never ever run back to Him or call Him all the time.
You can just never let go of that special guy that taught you how to love. When you guys break up, then it happens for a reason. Don't keep calling him and talking to them like nothing happened or try to make them love you again. It's not going to work out. It'll just make you seem weak and clingy.

2. Forgive and forget.
Let things go and remind cool. Don't let your ex see you miserable without him, it'll just give him the satisfaction and an ego boost.

3. It's okay to cry at night.
For the first few weeks, it's going to be a long and lonely journey. So it's OK to cry. Cry your heart out for the matter of fact. You are going to stop crying in the end because you'll get sick of it and realize that it's a temporary phase. Listen to sad love songs. It'll make you feel better and you'll realize that you can relate to him even more after a breakup. Get it all out and then deal with it.

4. Remain Positive.
Just because he broke up with you or doesn't want you back doesn't mean that you're "worthless". There are plenty of other people who want you and would be willing to treat you even better than your ex. keep smile and laugh. surround yourslf with friends and people who care. Not only will you feel better, your ex will notice how happy you are and maybe regret rejecting you.

5. Lift your head up high and move on. Don't let one relationship drag you down even though it was the best one you ever had. There will be plenty more and it's his loss. You are too good for them anyway. Tell yourself that. Tell yourself that you need someone who will treat you right. Just be strong and forget about your boyfriend.

6. Don't try to fling or have special relationships with your ex. It never ends up right when you just go back into that cycle. Yes, "that" cycle. Where you guys break up then make up then act all cute and happy but in the end, you'll just be heartbroken and cry. Yes ... that cycle. Relationships end for many reasons, so just forget about trying to "work things out", it'll never ever work out.
7. Consult a friend if you feel lame or played. When your ex plays around with your heart when he knows that you still want him, that's when you definitely know that he is not for you. It's OK to feel this way, completely normal. Don't hold your feelings in, just share to friend. Let them comfort you and let yourself vent your feelings. You'll definitely feel better.

8. Shop, Exercise and socialize. It'll make you feel better to buy new outfits so you can look more attractive, more great looking, and show to the world your inner. Not only will it boost your confidence, it will also boost your self-esteem. Looking good will make you feel good. Exercise is also a good way to vent your frustration and pain. Socializing with others would keep you distracted from your ex, bolster your self-esteem, and help you get over your ex. Go clubbing and have party much if you feel it be your good way. When you are occupied with other people, you'll think, "Hey! Being single isn't bad. I get to make new friends and have more time to myself". feel Flirt and mingle!!! ;))