KolonG "is that normal if I still love him after we broke?"

hey SLIMO, thanks if you can put my story in your block, you know I just broke with my boyfriend. It was a big fight and we knew that time there was nothing we can do but broke, time just past away, and I text him once and he's been nice as a friend although never know what our feeling in fact now. And the part that is killing me, literally KILLING me, is the fact that regaurdless of the fact that i know all of that, i still love him, and i still want to be with him. I love him SO much, you dont even know. He is truly the only thing that keeps me on this earth, am I wrong if I still love him? what should I do? try hard to forget him or ask him to come back? -thanks, your Vino-

SLIMO talk:

Ma best Vino, There's nothing wrong with still having feelings for him - you know him better than his past does. All people regret things of the past - so regardless of what happened, forgiveness will end the constant reminder of "past". Don't fall into the trap of attachment though - believing that your life depends on him - that isn't loving, it is just demands and expectations. Attachment is often a result of love: love is honoring a sense of well-being for yourself and others, while attachment is the idea that something is required (conditioned, as opposed to unconditioned love). The only thing that is causing you the emotional stress is what you are telling yourself with your own thoughts. If you are telling yourself that you "need" something, then you will believe it. If you recognize that the concepts in your mind about who the guy is do not define you or your life, and that your life situation with him do not define you at all, and have no bearing on your life, you will be much happier.

It's the concepts of the "past", which come from memory, that make you feel depressed. Because you have been telling yourself that you want what you are thinking about in your mind, you have been wasting energy trying to reach a mirage (the thoughts are like a mirage).
Take a deep breath and allow the worries and doubts to drift by like clouds, and just watch the clouds in amusement without attaching to them.
If you would like to continue a relationship with him, you could just tell him whatever is the most honest thing to say. You could say that you don't care about his past, and that it's the present him that you enjoy so much. Maybe ask him to be honest about whether there's been anybody else, but if you do that make sure you ask him in a way where he feels welcome to be honest about it - make him feel like it won't hurt you to hear the truth, because if anything will stop him from being honest it's because he doesn't want you to be hurt.

I wish you a happy life, just remember that there is never anything that you need in order to be happy!

miss you Vino, you know I'm still here anytime you need to talk ;))

KolonG "5 Things Your Boyfriend Won't Tell You"

As part of gay life want to know bout another gay life or even their partner, some question like; What do guys want in you? What do guys like? How do you make guys like you? And, of course, why do guys do the things that they do? stay tuned for this warn tips, and get ready to discover the secrets boyfriends keep.

1. Guys like being “the boyfriend.”
   You might often think that guys are players-at-heart who love the single life and only settle down because society tells them that they have to, but nothing could be further from the truth. Sure there are some guys who get a serious case of the GIGS (Grass Is Greener Syndrome) every time they make a commitment to another guys but these are the exception not the rule. For the most part guys love being in love just as much as you do, and sometime they like being part of your life, or when you tell everybody that he's your boyfriend, even they never tell you bout this.
2. Guy don’t like when you pull away over.
   Guys are competitive beasts so you’d think that the hard to get game would make them give chase, and in the beginning stages of a relationship it does, but once he made a commitment to you, he want the chase to stop. If you keep it up, if you keep pushing him away with your right hand while pulling him closer with your left, you’ll quickly find that he start pulling away altogether. He doesn’t want to chase you forever so when you pull away from him, he pull away from you in what amounts to a psychological tug-o-war. The more you pull away the more he respond in kind. Keep it up and everyone just gets tired and calls it quits. So once you’ve landed your guy doesn't keep playing hard to get, instead let him know that you’re happy you were caught.
3. Guy want his friends to like you… but not love you.
   In guy world the approval of his friends is very important so it makes sense that he want his friends to like you. But what they don’t want is for them to covet you. When he hook up with a very hot guy and his buddies ogle him it is a real turn off. This is why so many really pretty guys find themselves single. He just can’t handle the thought of losing you to one of his friends. So if his friends like you and think you're cool that’s great but keep distance. Unfortunately this is totally out of your control. If you've ever been dumped by a guy who you thought really liked you shortly after meeting his friends take comfort in the fact that you were probably just too hot for him to handle. So behave!!
4. Guys want you to like, but not love, their friends.
   Sometimes no matter how great you are his friends will only act luke-warm toward you. This is most likely not your fault and usually has nothing to do with you, but Guy doesn’t want you to go out of your way to get his friends to like you because he want your energy focused on him and only us. He doesn’t want you to care to his friends much. He want your efforts and attentions to rest firmly on him. Is that immature? Probably. But hey, they’re guys!
5. Guys worry that YOU will dump THEM.
   If there is one thing to see over and over about how to keep a guy interested but that’s not really very hard. When guy like you, he like you and that’s all there is to it. In reality he probably spend more time worrying that you’ll dump him than he would ever spend thinking about dumping you. So relax and stop fixating on how or when his relationship will end and just be his boyfriend. That’s all it really takes to keep a guy happy.

[slimo and about.com]